Another Big Scare
Today the girls eloped from the house again. I forgot to lock the deadbolt key lock, I only locked the combination bolt, when I took the garbage out earlier. It only took minutes for them to be outside and down the street. I got a knock on my door from the police. Any parent with children who elopes knows the fear that hits you. My girls are opportunists and as loud as they can be when they are expressing themselves, they can be equally as quiet when they are trying to be sneaky. I wasn’t behind a closed door, just out of eyesight long enough for them to undo the front lock and leave together. This is a huge part for why I am trying to install the automatic gate across the driveway. We have built a fence across the yard but that really doesn’t prevent anything. I have changed up our front door locks almost half a dozen times to prevent them from escaping. I can put all the parameters in place but if I don’t aim to be ten steps ahead of them I will be under prepared and it could have severe consequences. It’s absolutely heartbreaking because there’s the fear, panic, and upset when you realize they aren’t where you left them and gratitude when you find out they’re safe and self resentment for letting them evade you again and put themselves in danger! Sometimes all these emotions happen in a matter of minutes. It is exhausting and really takes it out of everyone including the girls. Moo came home and laid down to take a nap. Sue is watching her movie pick for the time being and I’m absolutely on edge now, every sound in the house makes me nervous and I’m hovering around and can’t relax. They say that parents of special needs kids develop PTSD similar to war vets because of all the stress they have on a daily basis. The feelings are very real. One of the officers on the scene was telling me how if he were in my shoes he would make sure someone was watching them at all times since this appears to happen rather frequently. I assured him I will do everything I can to insure their safety however, I’m only one person, and I have been searching for a reliable respite worker. I posted the job listing on Care.com, at the local college, at their weekly program, I even gave the information to the people at their school. Anywhere and everywhere I can think to I have put the word out to find myself some reliable help. I have done interviews and had individuals inquire but nobody has stuck around for the amount I have to ability to pay, which is fair. I have recently gotten in touch with a new program CBEM(Creating Behavioral+Educational Momentum) that is going to help us get multiple trained workers to come provide respite, which will be AMAZING! They also help with safety concerns and working with training parents in home to help their children as best they can. All these things take time. I work from home and I’m doing everything I can, I wish the local PD had better sensitivity training for situations like this. It isn’t across the board but there’s always one that just makes you feel judged and threatened. I am always very respectful with the police but I know my rights and I don’t require someone who has no premise of what my life is to tell me how to handle it. I’m not superhuman. I’m just a single mom doing my absolute best. I hope everyone has a better day today. This morning has been too stressful.
