Family Is Complicated II

Sometimes you have to hit them with the truth to break the illusion. I don’t know if this is the case with my mother and this blog or if somewhere in her she had a change of heart. I asked for her help again. This time in a text message. Talking always seems to go badly with her. She responded with actions instead of world and it was an interesting interaction but ultimately I think everyone felt good in the end.

I texted asking for fruit and some small groceries for my girls. It was a week long break from school and these kids can literally eat the whole house if I let them. Instead of responding she showed up at my front door. This is a violation of our boundaries but because it came with an olive branch I’m “supposed to” forgo the disrespect. I’m supposed to be grateful and appreciative and quiet. She came and picked up my eldest and took her to Costco, spend hundreds of dollars, returned with mountains of food and supplies for us, unpacked everything, and left as quickly as she arrived. I asked if she intended to stay or spend time with the girls and she said she needed to get home to put her groceries away. She didn’t hug me, she didn’t say bye, she just left.

I feel like this is her way of showing love. Maybe she is learning. Maybe she feels guilty. Maybe she has hurt feelings that she can’t express to me. I don’t know. I’m grateful but also confused. Family is certainly complicated.